How to Stop Being a People Pleaser and Embrace Your Inner Truth
Hey there, fellow people-pleaser! Are you tired of feeling like a chameleon, constantly changing colors to meet the perceived expectations of others (I mean, so anxiety-provoking, right!)? Well, my friend, it’s time to unleash your inner authentic self and break free from the chains of people-pleasing! Get ready to explore some ways to reclaim your authenticity and live life on your own terms.
Cast Away the Fear of Disapproval - Believe in Yourself
No one is living your life, but you. No one knows you better than yourself. Do you look to others to get approval, or validation on what to do in life? It seems easier in the moment to do what others think is best, but in the end, it doesn’t serve us and only leads to more anxiety. We don’t live our authentic lives. We end up resenting the choices we’ve made, and the people who have “forced” us to make them. Believe in yourself. You know what is best for you, how much you can take on; what will make you happy in the long run. When you believe in yourself and your ability to make decisions, the spell of people-pleasing loses its power.
Create Healthy Boundaries
You know that movie “Yes Man” staring Jim Carrey? Well I think they should make another follow up movie called “No Ma’am”. Us people-pleasers tend to say “yes” to just about everything, even when we don’t want to, or don’t have time, or have too much on our plate, or want to be laying on our couch watching bad reality TV and catching up on the latest Bravo! news instead of doing anything else. What if instead of saying yes, we said no? (gracefully, of course). Prioritize yourself, honor your time, and surround yourself with those who understand (and respect) that “No” is a complete sentence.
Discover the Self: Follow Your Passions
Sometimes us people-pleasers spend so much time doing what others want, we lose track of what we actually want or enjoy. Take time to reflect on what makes you happy, ask yourself “what brings me joy?” Engage in the activities that light up your soul - art making, dancing, making music, baking, hiking, horseback riding…whatever it is - do more of it! (It’s okay if you don’t know what makes your light radiate from within - try out different activities/hobbies until you find it. Sometimes just trying something new creates a spark!)
Find Your People
Seek out kindred spirts who love and appreciate you for who you truly are. If you get the sense that a friend or family member is trying to change who you are at your core, or pressing you to act in a certain way, they may not be “your people.” You’ll know you’ve found the right people when you can be your true, authentic self around them, without a mask. Feeling depressed? Anxious? In need of support? No need to fake a smile, your people will support you through thick and thin (and not think of your needs as a burden!)
Speak Your Authentic Truth
We are all special individuals with specific strengths. We have a lot of insights to offer! Don’t shy away from sharing your thoughts, emotions, and opinions. Don’t fall into the trap of agreeing with others because you want to be liked, or because of a history of trauma. Being liked is great, but wouldn’t you rather be liked for who you are and what you believe in? Being authentic around others and sharing a differing opinion or viewpoint might be a challenge, but in the end, expressing your true self will feel better than conforming to others’ beliefs, simply to keep the peace.
You’ve ended up here on this blog for a reason. It’s time to break free from the chains of people-pleasing, embrace your own authenticity, and let your vibrant spirit sparkle like the rarest of gems. And remember - the path to breaking free from people-pleasing is a journey, not a destination. Don’t get down on yourself if you fall back into bad habits. Instead, celebrate each baby step you take to reclaiming your authenticity and living life on your own terms! Good luck and let me know how it goes!
